I have to respond to a student email, but I'm too frustrated to deal with it appropriately right now, so I thought I'd get a little of my annoyance out here.
I spent my first year teaching trying to be someone else, and I discovered that it just doesn't work. It might for some, but--honestly--it made me feel physically sick. And it wasn't just emotionally and psychologically draining. It was ineffective. I was not as good of an educator as I am now. I still have a long way to go, but I am making progress. And, most importantly, the pre-teaching nausea has mostly stopped and I'm starting to enjoy my job. One of my weaknesses, however, is discipline. I know this. I'm working on it.
So I have this student. He comes to most of the classes, but he's very behind on his daily work and the blog assignment. He's done 8 out of 20 questions and 1 out of 20 blogs. Together, this counts for 40% of his final grade. (He has the chance to bring the daily grade up to 10/20 and his blog up to 3/20, but still. Not good averages.) He sent me an email a few days ago asking if he could write a second paper instead of finishing his blog assignment, and I told him that he's had the blog assignment all semester, and that I couldn't allow him to write a paper when the syllabus is clear and all of his classmates (or most of them) have followed the assignment's requirements. He sent ANOTHER email telling me that it would be "kind" to make an exception. Here's what I want to say.
Student,
My job as your teacher is not to be kind, and it is certainly not to make exceptions for students who fail to do their work for the vast majority of the semester. I cannot be "kind" to you at the expense of fairness and sound ethics. You have had the entire semester to write 12 blog entries, and you've written one. I told you at midterm that you would have to write two entries every week in order to catch up, and you've written one. I told you on Thursday that I would allow you to write four blog entries over the weekend since I was unclear about what to do during conference week, and you've still only written one. I cannot, will not, make an exception for you.
My job as your teacher is not to be kind, and it is certainly not to make exceptions for students who fail to do their work for the vast majority of the semester. I cannot be "kind" to you at the expense of fairness and sound ethics. You have had the entire semester to write 12 blog entries, and you've written one. I told you at midterm that you would have to write two entries every week in order to catch up, and you've written one. I told you on Thursday that I would allow you to write four blog entries over the weekend since I was unclear about what to do during conference week, and you've still only written one. I cannot, will not, make an exception for you.
Best,
Me
P.S. When I was your age, I was married, I had finished my B.A. and was starting my M.A., and I was feeding myself and my husband and paying our bills. Grow up. The world does not have an obligation to take care of you.
But that would be bad, right?
Sigh.
Hey Catherine - Lauren here. I actually think you should send that whole message, with the exception of the P.S. (even though I love it so). I think it's the perfect response.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could! I'll probably get in trouble for what I did write! He's sent me another email. He keeps pushing. I don't understand how he can think he has ANY right to ask for a favor.
ReplyDeletei wish you had sent that. you should still. realy cat. REALLY! you are doing him a disservice to do otherwise. dresden will need the same kind of self-less love from you. you will have to help him learn tough life lessons because it will make him a better man. DO NOT make an exception for this kid, or you will undermine the authority you've had with your other students, who have hopefully been growing as humans by actually Doing their assignments. love. mama mandy
ReplyDeleteCatherine, that message is not bad at all. "I've given you the opportunity to turn this around and you've chosen not to take advantage. Kind or no, I have my standards and other students have complied." You NEED to say this. Do NOT let him push you around. As much as the dept. gets weird about emails, a short, curt NO will make him stop, and I cannot tell you how cathartic that is. There are emails I wrote looking back on thinking "God, I wish I told that student what's up" and those I think "DROP THE MIKE, MB!" The latter make me feel so much better because this isn't just about teaching, it's about dignity.
ReplyDeleteDo it for your dignity. Drop the mike, Catherine.
I'm not letting the student get out of the assignment, but I am trying to be as nice as possible about it. Much nicer than I want to be. He sent *another* email last night, basically saying that professors make exceptions all the time "to help their students achieve success." I told him that I would not compromise my standards in order to help him succeed at the very last moment. This is the third time I've told him no. If he emails me again, I'm turning it over to...whoever is in charge of difficult lit students. I don't even know who that would be.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow. Thanks for the support!