MAN! There's a lot of planning that goes into having a baby. I've been on autopilot as far as pregnancy goes for the last 5 months, taking care of myself as well as possible and trying to minimize my daily stress level, and so much stuff snuck up on me. ["Snuck" is apparently not a word.] Before this week, I hadn't toured the local labor and delivery wards, which I have to do so I can decide where I'm delivering and register for hospital specific birthing classes, which I also haven't done. I'm also working on my "birth plan," mostly by reading The Big Book of Birth. I also forgot that we needed a pediatrician until the nurse at Tuscaloosa DCH asked who we'd interviewed. Say what? I feel so far behind.
I haven't come up with much of a concrete birth plan; it's still basically "don't let either of us die." I have, however, made a few decisions. I'll spare you the gross ones.
1. No systemic narcotics. It can make the baby groggy, which makes it harder for him to take those first breaths on his own.
2. No rupturing of the bag of waters if not medically necessary. (Trust me. You might think that's a gross one, but it's nothing compared to some of the other things.) It increases risk of infection, and they have to stick something sharp and pointy right up next to my baby's head. The only benefit (as far as I know) is that it can help a slow labor progress.
3. No episiotomy unless medically necessary. I don't feel like I need to explain that one. Just no.
4. We're going to try to manage early labor at the apartment, since everything I've read says that this is better than going to the hospital too soon. We're undecided on when early labor shifts into active labor. The book we're reading says that we should go to the hospital when my contractions are three minutes apart, and that's Dallas's plan, but I feel like three minutes apart will be cutting it pretty close. I say five. We'll probably split the difference.
5. I'm terrified (TERRIFIED!) of the epidural, and reading more about it hasn't helped like everyone said it would. You may not believe me, but I'm not worried about the pain. I'm worried about them putting a big needle into my spine and leaving (LEAVING!) a catheter in there. I'm worried that I'll have permanent back pain after. I'm worried that I'll be paralyzed. These are both pretty rare, but they do happen. Also, and this isn't usually considered a risk, but epidurals regularly cause drops in blood pressure, and mine is already really, really low with a tendency to crash. Also? Epidurals can cause anaphylactic shock.
6. I want the freedom to try different birthing positions, and, apparently, if you have an epidural, you're limited to laying on your back while you push. I can't lie on my back for more than 15 minutes without getting feeling really sick. I can't imagine doing it for an hour and a half. ALSO! Did you know that most first-timers push for an hour and a half? What the hell is that? I always thought it was 20 minutes, max.
7. The last two points lead to this: I'm going to attempt a natural childbirth, but I don't want anyone to get all judge-y if I decide I can't do it. I'm not crusading, and I don't want a nurse, doula, midwife, doctor, anyone who is. Honestly, I will start axe-murdering people if they tell me what I do and don't want while laboring. If I say I want an epidural, I want one. I also don't want people thinking "You're planning a natural birth? Oh, you're a brave woman." This is 100% motivated by fear--fear that the medicine will hurt the baby, fear that I'll have a rubbery tube in my spine, fear that my blood pressure will crash, fear that I'll end up paralyzed, fear that I'll have to push in a position that makes me ill, fear that the episiotomy rate for the epidural position is higher. It's not brave, I promise you. I'm just petrified of all the other options. Laboring naturally will of course be more painful, but it seems a lot safer to me. (And my mom had three completely natural VBACs in the 80s. Maybe there's a super-birther gene. Here's hoping.)
As far as the hospitals go, I'm still undecided. I've toured DCH Tuscaloosa, and I have an appointment to tour the Northport facility tomorrow. Everyone--yes, everyone!--recommends the Northport location, but I'm hesitant. We've had three really good experiences at DCH, and I know that they encourage rooming in with the baby, and they have central monitoring with the option for telemetry--which means I could be up and walking around more without being unhooked from machines. Northport doesn't have central monitoring, which means the nurse stays in the room with you the whole time, checking contractions, heartrate, blood pressure, etc. A lot of women have said they appreciated this, but I think I would hate it. Without seeing the hospital, the only thing I think Northport has on Tuscaloosa is that I would be in one room for labor, delivery, recovery, and postpartum in Northport. And the postpartum rooms in Tuscaloosa are kind of...disappointing.
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